Thursday, July 20th, 2017
This is a story about how a dating app ruined my life. Okay, I’m a little bit exaggerating because my life is fine. But I noticed something different about myself when I started using a dating app. And I’m talking about just one dating app and it’s not Tinder. When I installed this app six months ago, I didn’t even know how to use it. I had to email the customer support with silly questions which I’m not going to reproduce here. Then I got it. Swipe right when you like him and swipe left when you don’t. Easy stuff.
At first, I was a little taken aback by how weird it feels to just reject someone based on their pictures and a few words they’ve written. I didn’t right swipe on any guy for the first month. Then slowly, I would right swipe on a few guys and went on the first date, second date, third date….and now, I’m exhausted. In the beginning, it was exciting to meet a new guy and had a good time and I did meet some really cool guys. But nothing substantial came from those dates. Now I dread about going out on a date…I didn’t feel as hopeful or optimistic as before. All I could think about was “Oh great, another date with some random guy who I will never see or hear from again.”
Some of the lessons I learned from using a dating app are:
1) Just because you’re talking to just one guy doesn’t mean that he’s only talking to YOU. He’s also talking to multiple girls at the same time and see which one he likes best. You should do the same.
2) When a guy says he’ll call you or he wants to see you again, don’t get too excited until he does what he promised.
3) Be prepared to be ghosted because it will happen all the time.
4) Do not have any expectations whatsoever on a date. That was my biggest mistake when I started going on dates. Just have fun and go home.
5) The reality is that most guys who use dating apps are looking for hook ups. Depressing for girls like me who are looking for a relationship but you can’t give up on love, right?
Using a dating app offers you a lot of options and that’s a good thing. But I also feel that it makes people unhappy because they’re never sure of what they want. It’s kind of like going to a grocery store to buy pasta sauce and here you are standing in front of hundreds of pasta brands and you have no idea which one you want. So you finally pick one because the packaging looks sexy and when you get home, you wish you pick a different one. Dating apps are kind of like picking a pasta sauce. Except you’re picking a real live human being. So be picky but be nice and don’t lose your faith in humanity in the process like I did. Okay, I’m exaggerating again but maybe not….
Tuesday, July 18th, 2017
When it comes to beauty, I’m extremely lazy about it. Maybe because I have good skin and I don’t really have to do anything special to maintain it. But the most important thing I do to my skin is to use sunscreen with loads of SPF. I rarely go outside when it’s super hot and I don’t see the appeal in tanning. I’m very picky about what I put on my face and body and over the years, I found some products that I can’t live without. Here are the only 5 skincare products I use everyday.
Friday, July 14th, 2017
I used to be an impulsive shopper but now I’ve become savvy enough to buy less with better quality. My closet is still overflowing with a bunch of clothes I’m saving for……uh, special occasions like dates and fancy parties. The problem is I keep buying clothes for dressy events and not for everyday wear. So I’ve decided to buy clothes that can be versatile enough for a trip to the grocery store and for the after work party at a fancy lounge. And no, this dress is definitely not for the grocery store trip. Let me tell you why I love this Keepsake wide awake dress and why I bought it as soon as it I saw it.
1) It’s navy. I have enough black in my closet so it’s a welcome addition.
2) Sheer lace and ruffles! If you saw my post yesterday, you’ll know why.
3) The cute factor. This dress is just screaming for compliments from random strangers.
4) I know I’m not going to get bored easily in this dress. I mean look at those sleeves!
5) The cure for date night woes. You know when you’re spending 2 hours before a date deciding what to wear? Every girl wants to choose something that is classy and pretty and this dress is the answer.
Thursday, July 13th, 2017
Being a hopeless romantic girl with no one to be romantic with can feel a bit hopeless (Did you see what I did there?). So I tend to wear clothing that makes me feel romantic which in my case, it means lace, silk, ruffles, and white dresses. I can never get tired of wearing a white dress or a romper with ruffles all over them. So when I was shopping at Zara today and saw this shirt called “Romantic”, I immediately put it in my cart. It has all the elements of making you feel romantic when you put it on. It’s a perfect little top to wear it to a date or when you feeling particularly alone, you can be romantic in this Zara shirt. So grab some red lipstick, put some sandals on and go to a cute little cafe with this top on, and maybe you will catch someone’s attention and come back not so hopeless afterall. Or you can be completely content just wearing this fabulous top just having the time of your life. This is the kind of top you don’t regret buying and I’m glad it’s in my closet to help me feel romantic whenever I want.
Monday, July 10th, 2017
By now, pretty much everyone in fashion has heard about Lucinda Chambers, former British Vogue Fashion Director who was let go of in “three minutes” by the new incoming editor Edward Enninful. Chambers went on to give a thoughtful interview full of details that many in fashion insiders are already painfully aware of but perhaps not the general public. One of the quotes that stood out to me from her candid interview was this, “You don’t get the best out of anyone by making them feel insecure or nervous.” She was referring to how business executives who have no idea about design or fashion often put talented designers under stress and anxiety. Predictably, it often produced unhappy employees, mediocre fashion shows and less than extraordinary products.
Have you ever worked for someone who is on an ego trip just because they have a little taste of power and control? Someone who treats their subordinates with arrogance and condescension but with a totally different attitude to their superiors? We have all seen that person before. When a less talented person with zero imagination is put in charge of people who are creative, the end result is a company with no authenticity. What we learned from Chambers’s story is that fashion is suffering from advertisers overload and that power is being given to people who have money and looks but not to those with talent. I’m glad that she decided to share her thoughts on her career and fashion and shake up the status quo a little bit even if she is being criticized. The clothes in Vogue might be irrelevant to most people according to Chambers but her words on fashion will ring relevant for many years.
Wednesday, July 5th, 2017
Sometimes when I look at my calendar, I feel appalled that it’s already July. There are so many projects I have on my hands and so many tasks and so many emails, and errands to run…life can become kind of a blur when you’re busy. Thankfully, it’s summer and I’m enjoying some free time while taking lots of naps and shopping in between. Speaking of shopping, it’s a good time to update your look with some bright accessories and a bold colored printed dress. One of my favorite things to buy in the summer is a cool piece of eye-catching jewelry and Maha Lozi wild things ring definitely caught my eye. It’s also hard for me to find a print that I like to wear, so I was delighted to discover the Yumi Kim dress that strikes the right balance.
And I couldn’t ignore an awesome underwater camera I found on ASOS that brings a smile to my face! Add in the scary looking but so-worth-it face mask and a hat for the beach outings, my summer shopping feels as productive as my work day.
Shop the collage below:
Monday, July 3rd, 2017
First dates have a potential to be incredibly awkward so what I like to do is to prepare myself mentally as much as possible. I always like to talk to the guy on the phone before I meet him. One of the reasons why I do that is because I’m curious what his voice sounds like (Does he sound friendly? Does he seem like he has a good sense of humor? Does he have a good grasp on current events?) and if we can have a good conversation on the phone, I feel more comfortable meeting with him. Sometimes my dates are spur of the moment while I’m out shopping or a planned date with a place and a time. Whatever the case, here are the things I do on a first date:
1. I make an effort to look nice and be presentable. That means, even if a date is a walk on a beach, I wear a nice top and a skirt or a dress. No flip flops or tank tops!
2. I don’t look at my phone during the entire date except to look at directions or to call a cab.
3. I make my date laugh by being silly and talking about random funny stories.
4. I always ask my date what he thinks about Donald Trump because their answers tell me a lot about who they are.
5. I take my dates to my favorite spots whether it’s a restaurant or a museum. (I don’t do that to all the dates though. Only the guys that I feel like I can trust.)
6. If I like my date, I will initiate light touching on their shoulders or on their hands. And I wouldn’t mind them touching me either. However, if I’m not physically attracted to my date, I keep my distance and hope he gets the hint through my body language.
7. I offer to split the check because it’s the polite thing to do. Sometimes I don’t offer because the guy seems like a pretty dominant person who likes to take charge and I feel that he might get offended if I do.
8. If my date has a car and he opens the door for me, I give him A++++ in my head. Small gestures like opening a car door for a girl means a lot to me.
9. I make my intentions clear to my date that I’m not interested in a hookup.
10. As a hopeless romantic, a part of me wishes that my first date turns out to be the love of my life and if he doesn’t, I’ll be a little sad but that won’t discourage me from going out on another first date who might be the one, my forever love, whoever he is and wherever he is right now.
Tuesday, June 6th, 2017
Hawaii’s weather can act like a psycho ex-boyfriend who changes his mind every five seconds so figuring out what to wear can be challenging. Yes, it’s warm year round here but it’ll rain in about 10 seconds, trust me. So I need a light coat…not jacket, not a sweater, just something light enough for me to wear outside and be in a comfortable body temperature. Then I found the perfect summer coat from Aritzia and thank heavens, it comes in black as well! You can layer it as a robe, long sweater or a dress…I do love a multi-tasking piece of cloth. Yes, the price is a bit steep but think of how effortlessly poetic you will look while strolling down the cobblestone street somewhere in Venice looking up at the stars.
Tuesday, April 25th, 2017
I’m not going to talk about why dating today sucks because everyone knows that already. I’m not going to talk about ghosting, almost-relationships, three-day rules, fuckboys or whatever new crappy trends that the media comes up with. No, I’m going to talk about why I’m still single while having unlimited options to date whoever I want.
Here are the top 5 reasons why I’m still single. Hello Prince Charming, if you’re reading this, call me!
1) I live in Hawaii – I’m stuck on this little island with a bunch of other single people who I inevitably run into at pretty much every single event. Hawaii is a tough place to avoid people and I don’t like the idea of breaking up with someone and then find myself standing next to him at Starbucks, bumping into him while doing my laundry, being stuck in the same elevator (ahhhhhh!), etc. etc.
2) I’m too optimistic – Whenever I get disappointed by a guy, the blame is 100% on me because I let it happen. Despite knowing the fact that most guys want only one thing, I will still believe whatever a guy is telling me as the truth. That’s also my biggest weakness when it comes to guys.
3) I get attached quickly – Let’s say I’m talking to a guy and I develop a crush on him. You can bet that I will be thinking about him for months and won’t be able to talk to anyone else. I wish there’s a cure for that.
4) I’m too romantic – When I like someone, I’m already imagining an entire life with them in my head going through made-up scenarios of us holding hands, getting married, meeting each other’s families, growing old together, etc.
5) I have a type – I’ll give you an example of my dream guy in two words: Armie Hammer. And yes, there’s only one and he’s already married with kids. Guys who look like Armie and has a similar personality? Yeah……..I’ll let you know if I find one.
Thursday, April 20th, 2017
My favorite way to heal my broken heart is by doing a lot of retail therapy and also looking as hot as I can. One of my favorite things to wear is leather shorts and I just bought this perfect little pair from Peppermayo. After one of the worst weekends of my life, I think I deserve to treat myself like a queen.
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